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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22383079">After All This Time?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bertholdtssean/pseuds/Bertholdtssean'>Bertholdtssean</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Overwatch (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst and Drama, Emotional Hurt, Except they don’t marry one another, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Pining, Unrequited Love, f for Jack am I right, wedding fic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-01-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 16:48:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,000</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22383079</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bertholdtssean/pseuds/Bertholdtssean</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Before the base came down, Gabriel got himself married. </p><p>He also asked the person that was in love with him to be his best man. </p><p>They don’t talk about it for 30+ years.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Reaper | Gabriel Reyes/Soldier: 76 | Jack Morrison</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>40</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>After All This Time?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Val and I are getting married.”</p><p>The sentence hit him hard, cut deep into that black undershirt of his, straight through his spine. He looked up from the dimly-lit cyan screen he was working on, eyebrows raised in a facade of delight. </p><p>“That’s great, Gabe, I’m happy for you,” Jack told the Blackwatch commander before him, faking the sunshine-y smile that he displayed when speaking to the waves of press or mobs of bright-eyed people. It was true; he’d been happy for his friend, even when his heart twisted and constricted deep inside his chest and caused his body to want to hurl up the coffee he’d drank with his breakfast. He turned off the holopad, standing to further the illusion of happiness. </p><p>“I want you to be my best man,” Gabriel replied to his superior with a grin, a hand placed strategically on his hip, a habit that Jack recognized when he knew Gabe was happy— or hopeful about something. </p><p>      And Jack would go on to accept the request, despite the emotional turmoil that he could feel beginning to bubble up in his stomach. That was his best friend. He would be at that wedding. </p><p>——————</p><p>The ceremony was held in LA. Gabriel said that it was because he grew up there, but Jack suspected it was because Switzerland was much too cold. Valerie would have had to listen to him complain about the temperature for a good 75% of the wedding. </p><p>Jack could only think about how he would have listened to the bickering if it was his own marriage.</p><p>The wedding was extravagant. This came as no surprise to the Strike Commander, Gabe had always made himself out to be a hopeless romantic— a movie-and-dinner-before-dancing kind of guy. It wasn’t a huge wedding, but certainly not discreet either. He was dressed in a perfectly tailored black suit, a red corsage pinned to the edge of his collar. Valerie wore an elegant wedding dress, white lace that formed into a trail of silk behind her. They looked so beautiful together, a perfect mix of prideful and gorgeous. </p><p>Jack was quick to notice how the light amount of makeup on Gabriel’s face hadn’t hidden the dark semi-circles forming beneath his eyes. The makeup couldn’t hide the weariness he felt, and though he’d freshly buzzed it before the ceremony, he knew that the fuzz atop Gabriel’s head had been growing in unevenly and sloppy. Jack recognized those flaws; formed from the unfortunate burden of work. Marrying a woman wasn’t going to make these burdens go away, in fact, the problems would probably begin to get worse. </p><p>Morrison didn’t want to think about how this was probably unbridled jealousy for Valerie. </p><p>Jack liked her, he really did. She was sweet, spoke perfect Spanish, was a great cook, and had a young girl of her own. She would be perfect for Gabriel, they went together like ying and yang. They spoke their vows with elegant praise and didn’t stutter with a single word that was said. He could see the starstruck look in both of their eyes, and somehow, standing next to Gabriel underneath the wedding decorations, he felt his stomach turn in disgust. </p><p>Not for the people. He was happy for Gabriel, glad he was marrying someone he loved. </p><p>Jack wanted to be the ‘someone’ he loved. </p><p>So as Gabriel was directed to kiss the bride, Jack closed his eyes and pretended that his tears were of joy. </p><p>————————</p><p>He tried to go to the reception, he really did. He wanted to go and congratulate his best friend for his accomplishment of getting himself a wife he loved and a child he could take care of. </p><p>He found himself sobbing in Anas arms with a glass of red wine in his hand. </p><p>They were secluded, unable to be seen. He released everything, all of the emotion that he’d kept hidden for the past 15 years, all of the feelings that he had for Gabriel, his true opinion on the wedding, how he didn’t even want to be there. Didn’t want to stand up on that stage next to Gabriel as he kissed a woman that could have been him if he’d actually spoken. How he could be a better husband than she could be a wife if he wasn’t such a busy coward. </p><p>Ana shushed him. “Jack, there is nothing you could have done to stop this. Gabe made up his mind, he wanted to wed a woman. That doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you.”</p><p>“He doesn’t love me the way I want him to, Ana. It’s as simple as that. He’s going to stay with her for the rest of his life, probably pop out a few kids. Where will that leave me? He’ll leave to actually have a stable family life. I’ll be left behind.”</p><p>“Jack, you’re acting like a hyperactive teenager. Have you met Gabriel? He’s addicted to his work. Even if he were to have a few children, chances are that he’d move them close to the base, if not on base, if you’d allow it.”</p><p>Jack didn’t want to listen, this was the most emotion he’d felt in a very long time, agreeing to this wasn’t a good idea at all. </p><p>“Just breathe, Jack. Things happen, they could divorce in the next year. Knowing Gabriel and his luck with women, they probably will.”</p><p>Jack only managed to sob harder, breath hitching in rapid motions. “I’m sure we would have been able to work something out, Ana. I’m a negotiator.” </p><p>“I know, habibi. I know,” she cooed, stroking fingers through his gelled hair in a soothing way to comfort him. It didn’t comfort him. She drove him back to the base and he spent his free time in his office with a bottle of whiskey, writing an over dramatic, emotional letter to Gabriel, something that he knew he’d never willingly hand over. He wasn’t a coward, but he also refused to sacrifice the friendship that they had going on. It wasn’t worth the hassle.</p><p>‘Gabe. </p><p>This was written right after your marriage. Stupid, I’m aware. It was a beautiful wedding, honestly and truly. The red Hemings in your suit were absolutely stunning and Valerie looked like a gem. I'm glad that you married a woman that you loved, you deserve her after all of the shit you’ve been dragged through. Maybe one day I’ll be able to explain to you why I never went to your reception. I’m sorry. I hope that you know I’m happy for you.’</p><p>He put the note in his desk drawer, not to be meddled with for the next 20 years. The night was spent alone in his office, downing a bottle of fireball in hopes that he could settle the ache in his heart. </p><p>This had to have been the most emotional night he’d had since he’d found out he’d be joining the sep program alongside Gabriel. After a couple hours of guzzling down alcohol, he took a breath, regained his control, and forced himself to go to bed. </p><p>He was a commander. Not a teenager.</p><p>————————</p><p> </p><p>“Gabriel, you’d been given strict orders from not only Adawe and I, but the UN itself. He was to be brought in for questioning, not shot through a fucking window!” Jacks hands raised above his head in protest, before they were defeated smacked back down on the table below him.</p><p>“No, Jack. It was him or the entire Overwatch and Blackwatch teams. This isn’t some cat and mouse game anymore!” Gabriel barked back, crossing his arms.</p><p>“This is going to bring Overwatch down! McCree and Shimada have already put in their resignations, and I’m letting them leave.”</p><p>“Jesse and Genji are leaving?” </p><p>“Yes, that’s what they seemed to need, and you deserve it. The team consists of a few outside agents and Moira now, but I’m sure that a good majority of them are going to hand me resignation files as well. You screwed yourself over here, Gabriel.”</p><p>“What kind of repercussion is this going to throw onto m—“</p><p>That was all he managed to get out. Reyes heard a high-pitched scream before there was gas flooding through the building, and then the structure was coming down. Red, orange, and blue flooded his senses as he tried to get himself to his feet.</p><p>Jack had been tossed across the room, thrown onto a wall. A piece of broken glass from his visor shot off his lip, before another glass piece of rubble sliced across his right eye, blinding him. </p><p>The last thing he saw was a branch of debris impaling Gabriel directly in the chest. He screamed, stood up, and ran as fast as he could, using his one working eye to guide him. </p><p>He wasn’t quite sure where he ended up, Switzerland was a huge place, cold too. It looked to be some sort of warehouse, except it was empty, abandoned. There were remnants of broken down furniture and machinery, so he assumed this was some sort of omnic workstation. He didn’t care to look too far into it. Finding a corner that he could curl himself into, he pulled a biotic field canister from the piece of armour on his chest and weakly slammed it down before he could lose anymore blood. He felt it start to clot and harden, though the sight in his right eye never returned. </p><p>Groaning, he held his head in his hands for a moment, before ripping away each piece of armour that was clad strong to his arms and chest. It took nearly all of his strength to get the duster off, sewed on tightly to the seams, something that Gabriel himself had done.</p><p>The blackwatch commander was always good at sewing. </p><p>Few knew that.</p><p>Jack gagged for a moment, the thought of his friend clouding his mind, causing him to throw up the contents of the minimal amount of food he’d eaten before the retribution mission. </p><p>He tried to piece together the events of the day, a headache quick to draw on as he turned off the warm glow of the biotic field and pocketed it. Gabriel had left at 0500. Got to Venice by 0655, then stayed undercover until around 1900, right before it started to get dark. He wasn’t fully aware of what had happened on the mission, he wasn’t given a full report before the base had come down. </p><p>Wiping his mouth in disgust, Jack kept his armour on the floor, then moved off to another corner of the room. His head rested against the wall as he took his pants off, eyeing the shards of glass that had been shot into his legs. </p><p>He didn’t have the medical equipment to fix this, he’d have to work with his hands. That was terrible in and of itself. It was dark, he had one working eye, and large hands didn’t do well with small objects. Nonetheless, he squeezed each shard out of his leg like it was a zit, groaning with each sharp tug.</p><p>He didn’t sleep that night.</p><p>He didn’t sleep for many nights after that. </p><p>———————</p><p>Jack didn’t know that Gabriel was alive until he first heard the voice of the Reaper, cold, gravely and metallic against the piece of headgear in his ears. It was certainly different from the last time he’d heard it, the last argument he’d partaken in, but it definitely belonged to Reyes nonetheless. He’d be able to recognize it in time passing. </p><p>And lots of time passed. Fight broke out, wars were nearly waged, both men nearly killed each other. </p><p>That didn’t matter. Because Jack had managed to get him to stay long enough to have a conversation without fighting one night. He didn’t know how, nor why, and he sensed the desperation in his own tone, but if they were going to continue to kill each other, then he needed to die with answers. </p><p>They sat in silence for a moment, before Jack finally took off his visor, revealing his blindness. It wasn’t a good way to start a conversation, but if he wanted Gabriel to talk, he knew that he was going to have to show some variance of weakness. </p><p>“I thought you died,” Morrison began with a  hesitant tone, though he was quite evidently still displaying his hand on the metaphorical wheel; he still had control. </p><p>“I did die.” The reaper replied with, which earned a head cocked to the side from Jack. With a groan, Gabriel continued. “I was impaled. Straight through the chest, even I couldn’t have survived that. The witc— moira brought me back. Took me to Talon.”</p><p>“Is that why you’re an agent?” </p><p>“I’m an agent because I chose to be.” That was a lie. Gabriel would have easily dropped from Talon at any given moment if he had the chance, but he was wrapped around Akande's finger, if not his entire hand. Leaving Talon meant death. Another painful death.</p><p>There was a silence. Jack knew he was lying as well. They didn’t talk about it. It wasn’t worth the trouble. </p><p>“How’d you become blind?” Gabriel asked, though it sounded like more of a demand for answers. It didn’t sound like he genuinely wanted to know the answer. </p><p>Jack looked away, at least he thought he did. He couldn’t actually see to figure it out. </p><p>“Some debris cut up my right eye. The second one just followed suit.”</p><p>“So how do you fight?” This question seemed more genuine. </p><p>“The visor grants me vision in my left eye for as long as I wear it, but it gives me really bad migraines. You get some, you lose some.“</p><p>They talked like this for hours. Mindless conversation about how they came to be like they were. Discussion on death, privileges, war, friends, and new found enemies seemed to arise. It started to get a little more lighthearted, though it was clear that they were both incredibly hesitant to start trusting again. Gabriel didn’t want to show vulnerability, while Jack didn’t want to get attached to him again. It was a frustrating set of events, something that neither found comfort in. </p><p>Eventually, Jack asked a question that set off another turn of events. </p><p>“So— what do you look like? Ana wasn’t exactly thorough with her explanation.”</p><p>Gabe was quiet for a moment, before quietly replying. “I grew my hair out. It reaches down to my hips. I have a couple extra eyes, my entire body smokes up if I don’t gain control of it for a moment. A chunk of my cheek is gone, a chunk of my nose is gone, and parts of my lips are too scarred to be of normal texture. I also have multiple burn wounds, and an autopsy scar,” he tried to explain, voice getting a bit more distorted with each word he spoke. </p><p>Jack knew that couldn’t be a good sign, the distance. Thus; he took a breath and tried to make a joke. </p><p>“Haven’t cut your hair since death, huh?”</p><p>“Haven’t cut it properly since the night of the wedding, actually. Speaking of—“</p><p>That stopped Jack completely. The wedding wasn’t a good memory for him, and the fact that Gabriel wanted to explore further into the topic didn’t seem like a very good idea. He held his breath for a moment, as he heard the noise of rustling paper. </p><p>“I went back to the base to retrieve some things. Not everything was burnt, nothing from that metal desk of yours was even charred. You going to talk to me about this?” He asked, holding up a piece of paper.</p><p>Jack’s expression went deadpan. </p><p>“I’m blind, Jackass.” </p><p>“Right. It’s a note I found. Says something about my wedding and Valerie; and then it talks about the reception. You going to tell me why you weren’t there? Why I had to make up a lie about my best man— best friend for that matter— being sick and not being able to make it?”</p><p>Jack felt his brain start to operate on autopilot. He was unaware that the letter hadn’t been burnt, in fact, he’d mostly forgotten about it after the night he wrote it. He took a breath of air, trying to find some excuse, some weary explanation as to why he was so heartbroken that he couldn’t have been there, but nothing seemed to come to him. </p><p>“I couldn’t go.”</p><p>“Wh— Jack, the fuck does that even mean?” </p><p>“It means I couldn’t go.”</p><p>“That makes no fucking sense, Jack. You have to give me more explanation than that, Valerie really wanted to see you. So did a lot of my family. You just left them hanging, made me look like an idiot at my own marriage.” Gabriel seemed to get more annoyed with each coming sentence. Jack didn’t want him to leave, but didn’t want to talk about this either. </p><p>“Do we seriously have to do this right now?”</p><p>“Yes!” </p><p>Jack grimaced as the louder volume was obtained. Being yelled at was not something that he found himself to enjoy very much. </p><p>“Are we sure I’m the blind one here? I really thought Ana was going to tell you, I guess she’s against ratting people out as well. Funny; she seemed to tell you a lot.”</p><p>“Not as much as she ever told you, being your second in command and everything.”</p><p>“Gabe—“</p><p>“Christ, Morrison, just tell me why you weren’t at my fucking reception.”</p><p>“I was too busy crying. I didn’t want you— nor the public— to see their precious strike commander crying over his best friend's wedding,” Jack tried to admit without too much detail, crossing his arms in a passive aggressive manner. </p><p>“It’s good to cry at weddings, shows how happy you are for the couple. Fucking idiot.”</p><p>“It’s not good to cry in the way that I was.” </p><p>“If you don’t start giving me more context, then I swear to god I’m going to pull out a shotgun and break your visor,” Gabriel threatened, and Jack couldn’t tell if it was a genuine threat or not. </p><p>“Christ. You’re going to shoot me either way.”</p><p>“That’s not how this works.”</p><p>“Gabriel, please.”</p><p>“Just fucking tell me, Jack.” </p><p>“Fine. I was too busy crying because I had to watch you marry some woman, when I had been in love with you for years, and couldn’t stand to be beside you and watch you get lawfully wedded to her. I cried because I wanted to be in her shoes, hell, in her dress if it meant marrying my best friend. Because you want to know what? After nearly twenty-five years, you broke my heart, even if you didn’t mean to. I’d rather have gotten drunk than been stuck watching you dance with her,” Jack managed time shoot out, his tone defensive and angry, almost as if he was willing to kill Reyes right then and there merely for asking the question in the first place. </p><p>Maybe he was.</p><p>They were both silent after that. Gabe didn’t know what to say, Jack was too frustrated (and embarrassed) to get anything out of that scarred mouth of his. </p><p>The silence had gotten to be unbearable when Jack realized he was sitting alone in his room. Gabriel has gone, wrathed away. Taken advantage of the soldiers poor sight and just left. </p><p>It was soul-wrenching.</p><p>———————</p><p>Gabriel didn’t return for a month. There was no Talon missions, no visits to jacks house, no angry rampaging. Things were silent for once. </p><p>Jack decided to take it as his own punishment. Speaking out of line, showing a sense of vulnerability that Gabriel wasn’t atone to answering to. He’d known there would be consequences in terms of endearment, but being ignored— even if it meant no violence, wasn’t something he’d mentally prepared for. If anything, he’d expected to be laying dead on the floor, only for Ana to find his rotting corpse. </p><p>The thought was unappealing, if not disgusting. Jack had to live with the smell of corpses on his conscience, forcing that mindset onto Ana hurt him more than he cared to admit. He cared for the Egyptian woman, proving himself to be dead for a second time would kill him a third. </p><p>Thus, the silence was surly gratifying. It was nice to still have a life, even if it was bland and uneventful. Of course; his midnight patrols continued, but without a main target, it was nothing more than simple vigilance. Busting a man in one point and bringing a woman down in the next. There was no consistency, no pattern. He needed something to pass the time. Ana could only do so much. </p><p>Thus, sensing Gabriel arrive at his apartment was almost as a relief. </p><p>The smell of smoke seeped through his room, hints of corpse accompanying the scent. He could hear heavy breathing, a trait in which he wasn’t aware Gabriel could experience. A dead man didn't need to breathe, right? </p><p>That was one of the many questions that Jack had yet to ask. He shifted in his bed, sitting up, his visor was in reach, but a part of him didn’t want to see. There were two things that the wraith could be here to do, his brain told him, and that was either talk again or Reaper would kill him.</p><p>Now, being killed by his lifelong best friend, the man he’d been in love with for years, didn’t seem too bad. He had most of his questions answered, he’d gotten closure for himself. </p><p>He also knew that Gabriel wouldn’t kill him right off the bat. If he’d learned anything from the thirty plus years of working with him, it was that Reyes was a cocky man. He liked to play with his food before ultimately devouring it. A silent death wasn’t his exact way to go through with killing. </p><p>He waited in silence for a conversation that never came. </p><p>“I know you’re here, Gabriel. I have more than just my sight, you know.” He finally spat out after a good five minutes of silence, arms crossing in earnest. He wanted to go back to sleep, dream this away in colour that wasn’t just red. Maybe this was a dream. Who knew. </p><p>The dream theory was both amplified and dissolved as he felt a pair of chapped lips clash against his. A clawed hand reaches behind him, trailing up his back, to which Jack winced in the midst of the kiss. Either Gabriel forgot that he had been shot there, or he was touching that area on purpose. </p><p>Though it began rough and angry, the kiss slowly dissolved into something bittersweet, longing. This was a problem. This was a huge problem.</p><p>Jack was quick to pull himself away from the kiss, despite wanting nothing more than to have his mouth dancing with Reyes’ once more. He took a breath, wiped his now sweaty palms over the front of his chest, and reached across the bed to grab his visor, only to feel that it wasn’t there. Maybe it had been knocked off in the middle of their kissing. </p><p>Finally, with an almost frustrated tone, Jack spoke out. </p><p>“Don’t do this to me. Don’t come back to my house and kiss me like you didn’t break my heart fifteen years ago and then leave again. Kill me, break my visor so I never see again. Scratch those claws against my mace and maul me like an animal, but do not kiss me and then leave like nothing happened,” he shot out, and his voice would have been desperate if it weren’t for his reputable masculinity. “Promise me you won’t leave again.”</p><p>Gabe seemed taken aback, stepping away from the bed. He shook his head, though it wasn’t exactly like Jack could see it. </p><p>“I’m not going to make promises I can’t keep. You did that. You made promises and you didn’t keep them. Promises don’t mean shit to me. Have a good night, Jack.” </p><p> </p><p>And with that, the Reaper had faded once again.</p>
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